


Birthday Woman

by Irmelin



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-03 23:37:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irmelin/pseuds/Irmelin
Summary: All Katya wants for her birthday is to make out with someone. Trixie has an idea.





	1. Chapter 1

”So, what do you want for your birthday?” Trixie asks as she’s changing her outfit between two recordings of Unnhh. ”And please realize that I’m only asking to be polite, because you’re obviously getting an advance, and very exclusive, copy of my album,” she continues as Katya purses her lips thoughtfully. 

”Oh, do you have an album?” Katya asks, smiling innocently when Trixie narrows her eyes at her. 

”I was going to sign it, thereby rendering it priceless, but you can forget about that now,” Trixie says. 

Katya leans her head on Trixie’s shoulder in a silent apology. 

”I don’t know,” she sighs. ”I want to make out. Not with you,” she adds hurriedly, because she can feel the way Trixie stiffens for a second. ”I mean, I always want to make out with you.” This is objectively true. It wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for the fact that Trixie is a lot less enthusiastic about the prospect, which does take pretty much all the fun out of it. It doesn’t sting as much as it used to, though. ”But really, just making out with anyone, I guess.”

”Are you kidding me?” Trixie says, the disbelief evident in her voice. ”You brought home trade just last night. I saw him, he was hot and he was all over you. How is the endless supply of hot guys inexplicably willing to sleep with you not enough?”

And it’s true, Katya has no trouble finding men eager and ready to be fucked in any way she fancies, but in most cases nothing much comes before the actual fucking, and nothing much after. 

”But I miss the actual making out,” she says, pondering how best to explain it. ”You know, when you’re with someone who you’re just content to kiss for hours on end without it it necessarily leading anywhere. I guess I just miss kissing people.” Some of the trade doesn’t seem to even care about that part, and for some it seems to be too intimate, probably for the ones who are cheating on their husbands or wives. 

Trixie twists her shoulder away, forcing Katya to raise her head. 

”Are you okay, or are you actually dying or something?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. ”Because this doesn’t sound like the insatiable slut I know and love.”

Katya sighs deeply. ”I’m turning thirty-five, Trixie,” she says, not quite managing to keep the whine from her voice. ”I’m allowed to have a tiny midlife crisis.”

Trixie snorts. ”The way you smoke, having a midlife crisis at thirty-five seems highly optimistic.” 

Katya hits Trixie’s shoulder with her fan, just hard enough to sting. She’s become quite adept with the fans by now. ”Don’t you ever miss making out like you did when you were 16?”

”I didn’t make out when I was 16, Barbra, as well you know,” Trixie says testily. ”I was, through no choice of my own, pretty much celibate when I was 16.”

”Fine,” Katya concedes. ”Making out like you did when you were in college, then?” She steps out of one dress and into another, turning around to let Trixie zip her up. 

Trixie shrugs. ”I guess I still do. That’s what boyfriends are for. You might want to try that.”

”Blech!” Katya says, making a disgusted face at herself and Trixie in the mirror. ”Feelings, complications, devastations, conditions, contritions, traditions, not worth it.” 

Trixie puts her arms around her, giving her a tight hug from behind. ”You’re a freak. But at least I will always love you. The original Dolly, though, not the Whitney version.” She kisses Katya’s temple lightly, and Katya smiles. She is over it, her never-existing thing with Trixie, mostly, apart from the part of her that will never be over it, that will always wonder what if. But the rest of her has moved on to new unknown pastures, where the grass may be greener and hopefully more healthy. If grass even grows that far north, she’s not sure. 

”Ready?” Trixie asks, running her fingers through Katya’s wig, fixing the errant strands. 

”And willing,” Katya says with determination, and they head back to their chairs.

* * *

She’s late to her own funeral, due to some encounters with fans that were just to fascinating to hurry. It seems fitting somehow, though. If there’s any event that can’t start without the guest of honor, it would be a funeral. When she gets backstage, the other queens are all already there, and she can feel rather than hear the conversation grind to a halt as they notice her.

”Birthday girl!” Courtney exclaims, after a silence that is just a fraction too long. 

”Excuse you, birthday _woman_ ,” Katya says and looks around the room. Everyone looks slightly caught out. She looks at Trixie, who won’t look at her, and Alaska, who is studying her her nails. 

”Should I come back later?” she asks, already turning around.

Bob shakes her head. ”No, I think we were pretty much done,” she says. She’s been leaning against the wall, but now she straightens up and walks over to Katya. ”It was all fairly straightforward.” 

And with that she takes Katya’s chin in her hand and kisses her deeply. Before Katya can even react she’s suddenly upside down and it takes her a second to realize that Bob has actually dipped her, all the while maintaining the kiss. She has no fucking idea what’s going on, but she isn’t going to let this opportunity go to waste, so she enthusiastically responds to the kiss. She’s not gonna lie, she’s entertained a vague little fantasy ever since they filmed Gaywatch. And yeah, they’re both using a little bit too much tongue for it to be a great kiss, but judging from the applause and whistles she can hear from the other queens, at least it’s a great show. When Bob finally pulls her upright again, she’s more than a little dizzy. 

”Thanks, Bob,” Trixie says drily. ”Way to be subtle.”

”What?” Katya blinks. ”Wait. What?”

”How the fuck were you planning on keeping this subtle, Trixie?” Bob asks, just as drily. ”Oh, hi Katya, happy birthday, we’re all going to kiss the fuck out of you, but there’s nothing premeditated about it at all.”

”I just imagined a little bit more finesse, that’s all,” Trixie says. 

”I liked this way,” Sharon says thoughtfully, and Bob high fives her. 

”You would,” Alaska mutters. 

”What?” Katya asks again, of no one in particular. 

Trixie shrugs, almost defensively. ”Well, I did ask you what you wanted for your birthday, and for some godforsaken reason everyone was quite willing to pitch in.”

Katya suddenly remembers their conversation from a couple of weeks ago, and her eyes widen as she looks around the room. ”Seriously?” Sharon winks at her, Ginger looks long suffering, Violet smirks and Alaska is studying her nails again, on the other hand this time. 

Katya claps her hands together as if in prayer. ”Tracy Martel, you are a goddess among women and too good to walk this wretched earth. And the rest of you are also deities, albeit not as glorious as the divine Trixie. Although, that could change. Obviously Bob has already moved up the celestial ladder.” 

Trixie shakes her head. ”I’m regretting this already. I didn’t take into account how insufferable this would make you.” 

Katya takes Trixie’s hands in hers, bends down and kisses them. ”Goddess,” she repeats sternly. Then she straightens up and spreads her arms wide open. ”I’m yours for the taking!” she announces to the room in general, and, unable to take herself seriously, immediately breaks out laughing. 

”That’s just gross,” Ginger says, wrinkling her nose, but it’s Jinkx who steps forward. She takes a few steps in the direction of the dressing rooms, motioning for Katya to follow her. 

”A lady does her kissing in private,” she says, and lets Katya go ahead of her. 

”You better leave Katya out here, then,” Ginger calls as the door closes behind them and Katya cackles with laughter.

”I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Jinkx says thoughtfully, leaning against the door. 

”Oh, you don’t have to do this just because Trixie told you to,” Katya assures her hurriedly, but Jinxx shakes her head. 

”No, not you and me. That’s actually a good idea.” Jinkx smiles, making her eyes sparkle and Katya bites down on her own bottom lip in sheer surprise and delight. 

”Just in general, this whole thing,” Jinkx continues. ”I foresee bad things happening.”

Katya frowns. ”When Trixie referred to you, of course in an utterly complimentary way, as a swamp witch, I assumed she was talking about your choice of attire. Clearly, she was hinting at your hitherto unknown powers of predicting the future.”

Jinkx just looks at her, in the way only Jinkx can, like she knows everyone darkest secrets. 

”And you see no reason why this could get completely fucked up.”

”Nope,” Katya lies. 

Jinkx shrugs. ”It’s your funeral.”

They both realize the truth of her words at the same time, and start laughing. Jinkx takes hold of Katya’s wrist and pulls her closer, still laughing as she kisses her. Everything about Jinxx is deceptively soft, Katya thinks. Her lips, the taste of something sweet that Katya can quite place, her waist under Katya’s hand. She knows Jinxx well enough to know that there’s steel underneath, but for now, in this kiss, it’s all soft. When they break apart, even her eyes are soft, and Katya has to squeeze her hand tightly. 

”You are the absolute pinnacle of loveliness and womanhood,” she says, and Jinkx smiles serenely. 

”I know.”

* * *

”This is becoming a habit,” Katya says, as Sharon sets her drink down to wrap her arm around Katya’s neck.

”Everyone needs a bad habit,” Sharon says, drawing Katya closer. ”I’m trying to give up smoking, so I’ll need a new one. Interested?” 

”Always,” Katya says, her breath hitching as Sharon slowly moves her hand down her back. She’ll never stop being slightly in awe of Sharon Needles, there will always be traces of the nervous fan she was the first time she met her, no matter how many times they work together, or how many times they make out on stage. From the corner of her eye she sees Alaska leaving the room, and she’s reminded that she’s not the only one with feelings for Sharon that will never quite go away. She feels guilty for a second, and a flash of jealousy for other reasons, but then Sharon’s lips are on hers and it becomes impossible to think about anything else than that. Sharon kisses like she does drag, it’s intense, memorable and more than a little bit intimidating. Katya’s almost relieved by the familiarity of the taste of cigarettes. She can feel Sharon’s nails pressing against her back and her knees weaken a little by the thought of what those nails could do to her if there wasn’t a dress in the way. And then the kiss is over, as sudden as it began. 

”Always a pleasure,” Sharon says, using her thumb to wipe off a trace of lipstick from the side of Katya’s mouth, and Katya smirks.

”Might almost be worth giving up smoking for,” she says. ”I might need a bit more convincing, though.” 

Sharon smiles, with a lot of teeth. ”Anytime.”

* * *

”Right, let’s get this over with,” Ginger says, beckoning Katya closer with a regal wave of her hand. 

Katya widens her eyes as much as she possibly can. 

”Oh my god, this is the best fucking birthday ever!” She turns the last word into a loud squeal as she sits down on Ginger’s lap, enjoying the exasperated look on Ginger’s face.

She’s tried to get Ginger to kiss her countless times, but that queen is made of steel, and has proven immune to Katya’s advances. 

”How is this my life?” Ginger mutters as Katya puckers her lips and bats her eyelashes. Then she kisses her and Katya’s taken aback for a second. She expected a reluctant peck, but Ginger definitely goes for it. She should have known, really, Ginger never does anything halfhearted. She tastes like mint, and the thought of her chewing gum in preparation makes Katya wants to hug her so she does. She enjoys the heft of Ginger’s body next to hers, and while she has her arms around Ginger, she goes in for a quick grope as well, quickly receiving a sharp pinch to her ass in retaliation. She replies by pinching Ginger’s arm quickly, and Ginger sinks her teeth into Katya’s bottom lip, just hard enough to hurt. Katya gasps, breaking the kiss. 

”Kinky,” she says, impressed. ”I did not expect that from you.”

Ginger just shakes her head. ”Happy birthday, cunt,” she says, not quite succeeding in hiding the fondness in her voice. 

”Oh, you are done for,” Katya says, squeezing her tightly one last time. ”Before I was just curious, now I know you’re good, mama! I’m never leaving you alone again.” 

Ginger scowls at her, and then looks over Katya’s shoulder. 

”Thank god!” she exclaims. ”She’s all yours”

Katya turns around to see Violet, looking immaculate as always. The rest of them at least have the decency of looking somewhat disheveled after two days of Drag Con, but Violet doesn’t let little things like the turning of the world affect her appearance. She’s smirking at Ginger’s words. 

”You’d think it was my birthday,” she says, winking at Katya. 

Ginger rolls her eyes and leaves them to it, muttering on her way out. 

Katya’s pulse speeds up a little as she meets Violet’s gaze. She never knows quite what to expect from Violet. Actually, that’s a lie. She does know what to expect, and that’s what makes it so interesting.

Violet regards her silently for a few seconds, and it takes all of Katya’s willpower not to squirm. Then she narrows her eyes and grabs hold of Katya’s hand. 

”Come on.”


	2. Chapter 2

Violet drags her past at least three doors with a determination that makes Katya realize she knows exactly where she’s going. She finally stops in front of a nondescript door, opens it, pulls Katya in with her and closes the door behind them. It’s completely dark for a few seconds, until Violet finds the light switch and the fluorescent lights blink a couple of times before bathing the tiny room in a dull light. Katya looks around. 

”A supply closet,” she exclaims, pressing Violet’s hand tightly. ”You sure know how to treat a girl, miss Chachki!” 

Violet looks unimpressed. ”It was this or a bathroom stall, bitch.” She moves past Katya, only to turn around and push her against the door. 

”Since when do you need privacy for making out?” Katya asks. 

”Oh, I was planning on going the extra mile.” Violet smiles and lifts Katya’s skirt, bunching it up in front and pressing it into Katya’s hand. ”Hold this, I’m not sucking your dick under a fucking tent.”

Katya laughs helplessly as Violet makes quick work of her tights and panties. ”This is your competitive nature out in full force, isn’t it? You just have to be better than everyone else?”

Violet, now on her knees, looks up. 

”Oh, I already am, bitch. There is no competition. Now, do you want me to do this or not?” 

Katya does want her to, but at the same time she wants to tell her that she doesn’t have to, that there’s no need to trump everyone else, but before she can say anything, Violet continues. 

”I’m not gonna lie,” she says, her thumbs caressing Katya’s hipbones. ”I’ve missed doing this.”

And that’s the thing, it’s never really been a thing between them, but still, there’s been this, stolen moments in dressing rooms and hotels that don’t really mean anything except for the part where Violet is one of Katya’s favorite people in the world, which she constantly tells her, and in turn Violet calls her a decrepit slut, which means the same thing. And Katya is helpless when Violet looks up at her through her eyelashes, like she’s doing now, so she nods. 

”Please,” she says, and bites her lip as Violet takes her into her mouth. She has to clench her fists to resist threading her fingers through Violet’s immaculate wig, because that would not be forgiven easily. But then she can’t resist touching, her fingers tracing Violet’s cheeks as they hollow. She can’t almost feel, rather than see, Violet’s smile. 

”I’ve missed this too,” Katya almost says, but doesn’t, and she’s embarrassingly close all too quickly, mostly because of Violet, but the memories of Bob, Jinkx, Sharon and Ginger are all playing their parts. 

”Violet? Where the fuck are you?” Katya startles as Alaska’s voice is heard as clear as if she was in the room. 

Violet leans back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. ”What?” she calls, as Katya takes a couple of deep breaths to stop her heart from thumping wildly at the thought of how completely not soundproof this closet is.

”We’ve been looking for you, you’re on in ten minutes.”

Violet smirks as she looks up at Katya. ”I’ll be out in five.”

”Right,” Alaska says, after a tiny pause. ”Well… carry on then, with whatever you’re up to.” And there is something in her voice that Katya wants to analyze, or ignore, or run out and ask her about, but it’s all lost in the heat of Violet’s mouth, and it’s too true what people says about men and brains and dicks, because all thoughts leave Katya’s mind as she watches Violet swallow before neatly tugging Katya’s panties back into place. 

Violet holds out a well-manicured hand and Katya takes it, helping Violet to her feet. 

”Thank you,” she says, because she still has her manners. ”I would gladly reciprocate, as it’s always a pleasure, but you’re obviously tucked. 

”Obviously,” Violet agrees. ”Some of us try a bit harder than prairie dresses. Beauty is pain, but how would you know?”

”Your dingaling is going to shrivel up and die,” Katya says pleasantly. ”And you deserve it.”

Violet smiles, and it’s almost awkward for a minute, only it's not, because there's nothing to be awkward about. Then Katya sighs. 

”You still haven’t kissed me, though,” she says plaintively. 

”So needy,” Violet says, but her face softens, and she leans in to kiss Katya lightly. It doesn’t stay light, because nothing’s ever light with Violet, it’s focused and intense, and as Violet nips at her lips Katya can just about taste the bitterness of herself. Violet pulls away, fairly abruptly. 

”Happy?” she asks, with a smile that Katya has no reason to suspect is anything but sincere. 

”Deliriously,” Katya says, and Violet shakes her head with a laugh. 

”I have to get onstage,” she says, and leans her forehead against Katya’s for just a fleeting second, and then she's gone.

* * *

Courtney is drunk. Courtney is absolutely plastered, and Katya is rather impressed by how quickly she managed to get that way in the very short time since she was onstage. But a drunk Courtney is just regular Courtney heightened, so when she climbs into Katya’s lap, it’s not that much out of the ordinary. 

”This is the best birthday present ever,” she says, enunciating carefully. ”We should do this for everyone’s birthdays, all the time. My birthday is in February. We should invite everyone!”

”I’m very happy with it so far,” Katya says, and pretends not to notice Sharon smirking at her from the other side of the room. 

”Katya,” Courtney says. She sways a little, so Katya puts her hands on her hips to prevent any accidents. ”Katya, you’re amazing.”

”I don’t think you’re required to include a speech”, Ginger says. She and Sharon have both stopped even pretending to be doing anything else but watching them. 

”Shut up, we’re having a moment.” Courtney glares at Ginger before turning back to Katya. She opens her mouth to start speaking, but stops and frown. ”Where was I?”

”I’m amazing,” Katya says, moving her hands up to Courtney’s waist, just to see if she can fit her hands around it. She can’t, but it’s depressingly close. 

”Yes!” Courtney exclaims. ”And you’re really smart and such a good person. And really fucking hot.”

”Thank you,” Katya says politely, trying hard not to laugh, and tightens her hold on Courtney’s waist, because she’s moving around quite a lot, and if it hadn’t been for Violet’s supply closet ministrations, Katya’s dick would be more than interested in this. 

”And you should have someone to make out with, and I was so sure that you and…” Courtney abruptly stops talking when Katya’s hand covers her mouth. 

”Let’s not,” is all Katya says, determinedly not looking in the direction of Sharon and Ginger, and Courtney nods, removing Katya’s hand, pressing a small kiss to it in the process. 

She wrinkles her nose apologetically. ”I can’t be trusted with secrets. 

”Yeah, you’re horrible”, Katya lies, and Courtney just smiles before leaning in for the kiss. She’s quite accurate, for someone so drunk, and very enthusiastic, and this, this is what Katya was talking about. This kiss takes her back to being sixteen and making out without really wanting it to go any further. It almost feels like she’s back on a on a worn couch in someone’s basement, half drunk on cheap beer and making out for hours on end, with a high risk of the night ending with someone puking their guts out in a potted plant. 

Courtney hums happily when they break apart, her arms still around Katya’s neck. 

”Really fucking hot,” she repeats, nodding her head for emphasis with every word, and Katya laughs. 

”Really fucking hot,” she agrees, ignoring the way Sharon and Ginger are loudly discussing points out of 10. 

”And I’m really fucking drunk,” Courtney continues, with a little sigh, ”so I’m going to go to bed.”

”That’s probably a good idea,” Katya says, as Courtney climbs out of her lap, impressively steady on her feet. 

”I love you,” Courtney beams, and then leans in and whispers, far too loudly, in Katya’s ear, ”And I’m sure it’ll work out.”

”I love you too,” Katya says honestly, and doesn’t reply to the rest.

* * *

Trixie has, Katya suspects, purposefully stayed out of the way all evening, but when the show is over Katya finds her in one of the dressing rooms. 

”Does this present mean I’m not getting a signed copy of your album?”

Trixie looks up at the sound of Katya’s voice. 

”Buy one, and I’ll see if I feel like signing it. You might have to stand in line, though. I’m very popular among thirteen-year-old white girls. They’re ferocious in a line.”

Trixie’s taken off her wig, and she looks demented with her extreme make-up and bald head. Katya absolutely loves it. 

She hops up onto the make up counter. ”Best birthday ever, mama,” she says solemnly, holding her arms out wide. 

Trixie looks put out for a second but then willingly steps into Katya’s arms. 

”Good,” she says, her mouth pressed against Katya’s shoulder as Katya hugs her tightly. ”I’m just that awesome.”

”Yes, you are,” Katya says, squeezing her even a little bit tighter until Trixie makes a sound of protest. Then she reluctantly lets go. 

”I can’t believe you managed to convince them all to do that.”

Trixie snorts. ”It took no convincing whatsoever. They all fucking jumped at the chance. For some misguided reason you clearly have a reputation as some kind of sex goddess, how that came about I have no idea.” 

They look at each other for a moment. 

”Violet,” they say in unison, and Katya cackles with laughter while Trixie shakes her head in mock disgust. 

Then Trixie bites her lip, and seems to hesitate before speaking. 

”Alaska was a bit… quiet, though,” she says carefully. ”Has she been weird to you tonight?”

”No,” Katya says truthfully. Alaska hasn’t been weird. Alaska hasn’t been anything. And Katya is definitely not thinking about that.

”Okay,” Trixie says easily, because she’s the best, and then she smiles. ”Come on then, I’m not going to be left out.” She puckers her lips exaggeratedly. 

Something deep inside Katya feels like crying. 

”Trixie, you don't have to do that,” she says, keeping her voice carefully free of emotion. 

Trixie raises an eyebrow. ”Yes, I am aware of the concept of free will, Katya,” she says drily, and then, softer, ”It's your birthday, stupid. I want to.”

”Hang on, I’ll wipe off my lipstick.” Katya turns to find a make-up wipe to wipe off the bright red lipstick she's reapplied so many times this night, but Trixie stops her with a hand on her arm.

”Katya,” she says softly. ”I think I’ll manage to cope.”

She presses her lips gently to Katya’s, running her hand down Katya’s arm to intertwine their fingers. It’s by far the most chaste kiss of the evening, and still the one that makes Katya’s heart beat the fastest. 

”You know I love you, right?” Trixie murmurs. Katya nods, to the words and to the meaning she knows lies behind them. _I wish I could love you like you love me._

She holds on tightly to Trixie’s hand, because it feels like a goodbye, not to Trixie but to something between them, and she knows that that's a good thing, a healthy thing, but that doesn't mean it doesn’t make her heart feel like it’s cracking just a little bit.

* * *

The show is over and the venue is emptying, but Katya takes her time, waiting for one more person, but without luck. She catches Jinkx as she’s on her way out the door. 

”Have you seen Alaska?”

Jinkx looks apologetic. ”She left ages ago.”

”Oh,” Katya says, and Jinxx raises an eyebrow in a way that clearly means i told you so, only nicer. 

”You’re both being a bit stupid,” she says kindly. 

Katya sighs. ”What else is new?” 

Jinkx leans in to kiss her lightly on the cheek. ”Good night, Katya.”

Katya forces a smile. ”Good night. ” Then she collects her things and goes back to the hotel.

* * *

She showers for an age, her mind a mix of giddiness and disappointment. She’s overwhelmed and overjoyed by the events of the evening, but that doesn’t change the fact that she had expectations of something else. Because there’s been something brewing between her and Alaska for a while now, like a charge of electricity between them when they see each other, or magnetism, or whatever it is that draws objects together but keeps them apart at the same time. And it has always seemed like the only thing missing is the opportunity, the right moment to act, and Katya thought that tonight would be the perfect time and place, but obviously Alaska didn’t feel the same way. Or maybe Katya’s just been wrong from the beginning. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

She’s just about to turn the lights out to try to get some sleep when her phone buzzes with a text. 

”You still awake?” 

She stares at Alaska’s name and hesitates before replying. ”Yes.” 

A few seconds and then her phone lights up again. ”I’m outside.”

She frowns. ”Outside where?” she asks herself out loud and starts to type the same question when there’s a knock on the door. 

She looks between the phone and the door and gets out of bed, checking herself in the mirror on the wall on her way to the door. Trixie t-shirt and boxers, it’ll have to do. She runs her fingers through her still damp hair and opens the door. 

Alaska is just putting her phone in the pocket of her jeans and looks at Katya with a hesitant smile. 

”I forgot to ask if you were on your own,” she says. 

Katya raises an eyebrow. ”I came here straight from the show,” she says. ”I think you’re overestimating my powers of finding random trade on the way to the hotel room.”

Alaska looks a tiny bit more comfortable with the situation. ”I was thinking more in the way of continuing what you were up to in that supply closet, but sure,” she says. 

And okay, that’s a fair assumption, Katya supposes. She steps aside to allow Alaska into the room. 

”Well, I’m not.”

Alaska just nods, and her eyes follow Katya as she closes the door and sits down cross legged on the bed. Katya leaves plenty of room for Alaska to sit down too, but she remains standing. She seems fidgety, taking the hotel information brochure from the desk only to put it down immediately. 

”I wanted to apologize,” she says, looking straight at Katya. ”For being a complete cunt all night.”

Katya’s first instinct is to feign ignorance, her second to reassure Alaska, but she knows that Alaska is too smart to fall for either. Besides, the truth is that she’s been playing it over and over in her mind, the way Alaska barely spoke a word to her offstage, the way she seemed to avoid even being in the same room, the way she left without as much as a goodbye.

”Okay,” she says evenly. ”Do I get an explanation as well? Because that’s the one I’m most interested in.”

Alaska sits down on the desk. ”See, I had a plan,” she says with a sigh. ”I was going to kiss you.” 

She starts scratching remnants of glue from her nails, but stubbornly refuses to look down, instead keeping eye-contact with Katya. ”Because I’ve been thinking about that, about you, for a while, since Aspen, I guess. And tonight would be perfect, because I could play it off as a birthday joke, and you’d be out of my system.” She shakes her head slightly. ”And then Trixie fucking Mattel had an idea.” 

Katya folds her hands in her lap, careful not to show a reaction. ”Sounds like it would give you the perfect excuse.”

”Yeah,” Alaska agrees, with a wry smile. ”I’ve always been good at deluding myself. Turns out I didn’t want it to be a joke. And turns out I definitely didn’t want to watch you kissing every fucking queen on the circuit.” 

”Why didn’t you just say something?” Katya asks. That’s what bothers her, she realizes. The two of them talk about everything. 

”You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

”I was,” Katya says honestly. ”It was, without a doubt, one of the best nights of my life. I got to make out with seven of the most gorgeous and amazing people in the world, and I love them all so fucking much, and I’m completely blown away by the fact that they were all willing to do that for me, and I will never, ever forget that, even for a second.” Alaska nods, and a look of resignation spreads over her face and Katya wants to grab her hand to stop that from happening, but Alaska is too far away. ”But I was waiting for you.” 

Alaska stills. ”Why didn’t _you_ say anything?”

"How?" Katya asks. ”You made very sure not to be anywhere near me.”

Alaska groans, looking up at the roof. ”Oh, fuck, I’m such a bitch!”

”Oh, completely,” Katya says. ”Luckily for you I have a not insignificant streak of masochism in my blood, so I kind of like you anyway.”

”Luckily for you I’ve always had terrible taste in men,” Alaska retorts. 

They stare at each other evenly for a few long seconds. Katya is the first one to crack and break into a smile, closely followed by Alaska, and just like that the tension in the room dissipates. 

”I’m still waiting, you know,” Katya points out. 

Alaska leans back against the desk. ”Yeah, about that,” she says. The confident drawl is back in her voice. ”After all, you have been making out, and god knows what else, with seven other people tonight. And I’m not the kind of girl who deals with other’s sloppy seconds, not to mention sloppy eighths.” She shrugs one shoulder. ”So maybe not.”

Katya rises from the bed. ”You’re a disgusting rotting carcass of a gila monster,” she says matter-of-factly and walks over to Alaska. And then she kisses her, because Alaska is a tease and can and will draw this out, but Katya is tired of waiting. 

And it is just a kiss. It’s not the hottest kiss she’s had that evening, or the sweetest. But it’s the way Alaska’s fingers are tightening around her waist, the way Alaska sort of hums into the kiss, the way when Katya opens her eyes, which she for some confounded reason had closed before, Alaska is looking right back at her, the way Alaska tastes of mint, as if she brushed her teeth before heading to Katya’s room. It’s all the little things surrounding it that makes it the one kiss that causes her heart, the heart which she’s sometimes suspected of being unable to behave like this, beat so hard she can hardly breathe. 

When they break apart, the hem of Alaska’s top is twisted in Katya’s fingers, and Alaska is looking just about as stunned as Katya feels. They should talk, Katya knows that. Because she knows herself far too well and she likes to think that she knows Alaska, and they both have the capabilities and inclinations to fuck this up spectacularly and irreversibly. But for now, all she says, with what she hopes is an undetectable note of her insecurity, is

”Stay?” 

And Alaska’s nod is the only reply until they’re both in bed, on the verge of falling asleep. 

”Oh,” Alaska mumbles. ”I never said. Happy birthday.”

Katya smiles into Alaska’s shoulder. ”You know, my actual birthday isn’t until next week.”

Alaska pulls away slightly so that she can look at Katya. ”If you think I’m organizing a fucking orgy for you on Tuesday, you are sadly mistaken.” 

”How uncharitable of you,” Katya sighs. ”I bet Trixie would do it.”

”Well, I think you’ll find that there are plenty of things I’m willing to do for you that Trixie…” Alaska trails off, and she bites her lip, suddenly looking unsure again. And her words sting, but not as much as Katya would have expected them too. So she just smiles. 

”Good,” she says, petting Alaska’s hair sleepily. ”I look forward to a very thorough demonstration tomorrow.”

Alaska laughs, a mix of relief and fondness, and presses a kiss into Katya’s hair. ”Go to sleep Katya,” she says. 

So Katya does.


End file.
